Simple Parenting Agreements

When a relationship ends and children are involved, one of the first things most parents want is a clear plan for the children's care. A good parenting arrangement gives everyone, especially the children, a sense of stability and routine at a time that can feel uncertain. This guide explains the main ways parents in Australia can agree on care of their children, what the law focuses on, and how Separately fits into the picture as you work through your separation.

This is general information only. It is not personal legal advice. For anything you want to make formal and binding, please speak with a family lawyer.

What a parenting arrangement covers

A parenting arrangement sets out how separated parents will share the care of their children and make decisions about their upbringing. It usually covers practical, everyday things, such as:

• Where the children live and the time they spend with each parent
• How the children communicate with the parent they are not with
• Schooling and education
• Health care and medical decisions
• How holidays, birthdays and special days are shared
• How the parents will make decisions about major long-term issues, and how they will handle changes or disagreements

The right level of detail depends on your family. Some parents want a simple week-to-week routine, while others prefer a fuller plan that anticipates the years ahead.

The three main ways to agree on care

In Australia there are three common paths, and they differ mainly in how formal and how enforceable they are.

1. An informal agreement

Many parents simply agree between themselves on a routine and adjust it as the children grow. This is flexible and costs nothing, but it has no legal standing if a disagreement arises later.

2. A parenting plan

A parenting plan is a written record of an agreement between parents about the care of the children that is signed and dated by both parents. You do not need to go to court to make one. A parenting plan is not legally enforceable, but courts can take an existing parenting plan into account if a parenting matter later comes before them. It is a good middle ground when both parents are cooperating and want something clearer than a casual understanding.

3. Consent orders

If you want your agreement to be legally binding, you can apply to the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia for consent orders. These are orders that you and the other parent agree on, and they can be made without a court hearing. Even so, they are orders of the court and are legally binding. In parenting matters, the court must be satisfied that the orders are in the best interests of the child before making them. Once made, each parent must follow the orders, and there can be serious consequences for breaching them.

A parenting order can also be made by a judicial officer after a hearing if parents cannot reach agreement, but most parents who agree use the consent orders pathway.

What the law focuses on: the best interests of the child

Under the Family Law Act 1975, the child's best interests are the most important consideration in any parenting decision. Significant changes to the Act commenced on 6 May 2024, updating how courts approach these decisions. From that date, the changes apply to new and existing parenting proceedings, except where a final hearing has already begun.

Two points from the 2024 changes are worth understanding:

• The Act no longer contains a presumption of equal shared parental responsibility. That presumption was often misunderstood as meaning a child must spend equal time with each parent. There has never been a rule that children must spend equal time with each parent, and there is no automatic starting point of equal time.
• The Act now sets out a clearer list of factors a court weighs when deciding what is in a child's best interests. These include what arrangements best promote the child's safety, including safety from family violence, abuse, neglect or other harm; any views expressed by the child; the child's developmental, psychological, emotional and cultural needs; the capacity of each carer to meet those needs; and the benefit to the child of having a relationship with their parents and other people significant to them, where it is safe.

For Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander children, the court must also consider the child's right to enjoy their culture, including the support and opportunity to connect with and maintain their connection to family, community, culture and country.

Trying to agree before going to court

If parents cannot agree, the law generally encourages them to try family dispute resolution (FDR) first. In most cases, before applying for a parenting order, a parent must obtain a section 60I certificate from an accredited FDR practitioner showing a genuine attempt was made to resolve matters. There are important exceptions, including cases involving family violence, child abuse, or urgency. If an exception applies, the parent files an affidavit explaining why a certificate is not required.

Arrangements can change as children grow

Children's needs change, and parenting arrangements often need to as well. Parents who are cooperating can update a parenting plan at any time, as long as both agree, by making a new signed and dated plan. Changing final parenting orders is harder. A court will generally only reconsider final orders if there has been a significant change in circumstances and it is in the child's best interests to look at the arrangements again. This is one reason it helps to think ahead when first putting an arrangement together.

How Separately helps

Separately is an Australian tool that helps you understand your financial position as you work through a separation. You answer questions about your circumstances, and Separately produces an assessment that gives you a clearer picture of the property and financial side of separating.

Parenting and property are separate matters under family law, but they are often on your mind at the same time. By bringing clarity to the financial picture early, Separately can help you approach conversations about the children, and about a settlement, with less guesswork and more confidence. Separately works alongside the legal process and partners with law firms, so when you are ready to formalise arrangements you can do so with proper advice.

A note on getting it formal

A parenting plan is a helpful step, but it is not legally enforceable on its own. If you want your arrangements to be binding, you will need consent orders from the court. For the financial side of a separation, formal options include consent orders or a binding financial agreement. Either way, independent legal advice is important before you sign anything, so that what you agree to is sound and reflects your circumstances.

Separation is rarely simple, but the arrangements you make for your children do not have to add to the stress. With a clear plan and the right support, you can give your children the steady, familiar routine that helps them most.